thought process on the 2am bikeride home

being the best



as the evening progressed, the "identifying of the best" seemed to be the theme.
i started thinking about this and watched as we all (yes, including myself) strived to assert an alpha or dominant role in a relationship we were forming.

the definition of the best came to mind.
being the best.

what does this mean exactly.

there seems to be, to me, 2 ways that i can think of right now.


one: being the best at what you have already in your reaches.
being able to take what you have and do it the best that you can, therefore..."besting" yourself
at what is right in front of you needing nothing else.
being able to take what you have and do the most with it that you possibly can.
understanding that you don't know "everything" therefore letting the conversations be actual conversations instead of directorial monologues.

acknowledging the discourse and give and take that naturally occurs.
teach and learn at the same time.



two: being the "best".
at everything.
trying to be the top dog at whatever anyone else is doing.
knowing more than than the rest at the table.
not listening to what is being said because you are waiting to assert your knowledge, therefore not learning anything new.
or maybe just not accepting to learn anything new because then it proves that you didn't know something.
never besting yourself at what you are, just the material and physical aspects of what will get you further and "in".


so, here we are at the realization.
i do this too. not just pointing fingers.



is this good, bad, relevent, necessary, ridiculous...

does this make sense?




now i have said the word too much.


i don't know, just a thought.