i learned today that the old Vanadium Mine (between Telluride and Placerville) got a boost during WWII. uranium oxide ws discovered to be a key ingredient for the development of america's atomic bomb.
"During WWII, Einstein told Roosevelt that uranium oxide, a byproduct of vanadium that had been tossed away and ignored for years, had a certain value. Suddenly the lines of the old Southern were filled with a highly valuable deposit guarded by federal agents with machine guns".
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Saturday, August 26, 2006
now i am on the Pacific
so i get onto a plane in Boston and 6 hours later i am in LA. it has been a long day and my thought process on this is too much to write right now...the way i feel about being cattle checked for terrorist activities...but this is my friend david and we are going to Telluride, CO to sit on a mountain.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
my horoscope this morning
when you think of people from your past, it's like being haunted by a ghost.
this is your day to confront the illusion and make peace with the elements of your life that you left long ago.
this is your day to confront the illusion and make peace with the elements of your life that you left long ago.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
there's a pirate named shmee that hangs with captain hook
i really don't have much to say these days i have so much to say
i am in a limbo that is quite refreshing actually.
it's ok and i understand about going with the flow of things.
i seem to blow too easily with the breeze.
althought the passing on and through seems to become second nature and then before i know it i am on the other side of my world.
my world is a different place now.
now
a very different place, but you know what, it's exactly the same as where i came from.
exactly the same.
it all is
hasn't it always been
melancholia...
(It is characterised by low levels of enthusiasm and low levels of eagerness for activity) (i do so love the dictionary)
although this may sound like a negative thing, it is actually wonderful. needed. understood and ready to see where this takes me.
had some new ideas about "born again" today.
this goes with my theories about karma and regeneration, the basis of the need for religion, and the real meaning of the "word" feeling. i can't possibly write all that down and i have bored many with my theories anyway.
i am having a great time with myself actually.
does this mean "growing up" when you can actually stand being with yourself?
i have made new clothes and new drawings and i look different.
i don't think it's olderness
i think its untanglingness
i am in a limbo that is quite refreshing actually.
it's ok and i understand about going with the flow of things.
i seem to blow too easily with the breeze.
althought the passing on and through seems to become second nature and then before i know it i am on the other side of my world.
my world is a different place now.
now
a very different place, but you know what, it's exactly the same as where i came from.
exactly the same.
it all is
hasn't it always been
melancholia...
(It is characterised by low levels of enthusiasm and low levels of eagerness for activity) (i do so love the dictionary)
although this may sound like a negative thing, it is actually wonderful. needed. understood and ready to see where this takes me.
had some new ideas about "born again" today.
this goes with my theories about karma and regeneration, the basis of the need for religion, and the real meaning of the "word" feeling. i can't possibly write all that down and i have bored many with my theories anyway.
i am having a great time with myself actually.
does this mean "growing up" when you can actually stand being with yourself?
i have made new clothes and new drawings and i look different.
i don't think it's olderness
i think its untanglingness
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
keeping it real...?
why is it that when i go to draw or paint, i have such a hard time and i don't like it at all when i step back,
but then when i get an idea to make something for someone else, i am so happy with it and i end up giving it away?
it's almost like i need a reason to make something and it is usually for someone else with a specific purpose in mind.
maybe this will help me be a good architect someday.
or it could just be that damn christian upbringing and the teachings of "selfishness" and the only way for me to feel good about making or doing something is if it is for someone(s) else.
it's frustrating and i would like to stop some of that you know.
i would just like to make some thing for myself sometimes.
i guess you could say that i am doing that when i make it for other people, but i have ideas for me and i would like to see those through too.
right now i can't leave the house because i am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. i just keep going from one room to the next doing something. it's like i have a factory in here.
so, well, back to it i suppose.
i just needed to vent.
but then when i get an idea to make something for someone else, i am so happy with it and i end up giving it away?
it's almost like i need a reason to make something and it is usually for someone else with a specific purpose in mind.
maybe this will help me be a good architect someday.
or it could just be that damn christian upbringing and the teachings of "selfishness" and the only way for me to feel good about making or doing something is if it is for someone(s) else.
it's frustrating and i would like to stop some of that you know.
i would just like to make some thing for myself sometimes.
i guess you could say that i am doing that when i make it for other people, but i have ideas for me and i would like to see those through too.
right now i can't leave the house because i am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. i just keep going from one room to the next doing something. it's like i have a factory in here.
so, well, back to it i suppose.
i just needed to vent.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
good times
i've had a pretty good weekend so far.
yesterday my dressmaker form arrived.
i have had so much time to think about it and figure out the design and then when i got the form, i set it up in the kitchen, sat on the floor and just stared at it.
it was like, oh great, now what do i do with this???
so, i went nuts today sewing! after riding around with matt looking at bodies of water, i had to go home and work on the dress. that was most of my day.
then, this really nice guy, chris invited us to go to this house show.
the house is across the street from a cemetary and has the most amazing garden and yard.
the inside is incredible. it is a combination of decleyre and felix and the warehouse. matt said it smelled like felix and decleyre, but in a good way!!!
there was a marching band from new york that played and it was so fun. we danced and they played records from the roof.
brian v. would be "J".
i felt like i was at home!
i wish some people from memphis could share this with me, but then i think about it and they are all scattered across the continent, except for a small few.
and i know that they are in a good place for their lives right now.
i got a little homesick tonight. the house collective and the family feeling. i miss that and hope that i can find it here too. not that i feel like it's gone, it's just nice to have that closeness with people near you too.
but...i have met some of the most amazing folks. i am inspired everyday to do something with my life, so i am glad to be here.
there are so many people with such great spirits in this town.
it's uplifting.
i do hope that i can make some good friends here.
last night i saw gillian welch play at a small venue downtown.
it was fantastic.
amazing even.
so, i guess that made up for missing tom waits.
missing some folks pretty bad. i do wish that i could see a few people now and then.
i wish it were easy for us to travel back and forth, but i know that we will see each other when we can.
i got to talk with matt owens today in asheville and that made my day a little better.
i had some ask me if i missed memphis. i reacted in a weird way. i almost took it accusatorily (sp?) and got a little defensive on the inside, like how dare you ask that of me? then i knew that it definitely is a sore spot and that it is ok to miss memphis.
i don't think i have let myself miss it yet.
i have been blocking some of it so i can just get on with my life.
so i am telling myselfe that it's ok to miss some of the people and places and that if i didn't miss them that would mean i didn't care about them. so, with the caring and closeness comes a sadness of distance. it's all a part of it all.
i do wish that i didn't miss certain people though. but oh well.
so the moral of the weekend so far is: friends are amazing.
they show you who you are and what you want and don't want to be.
i hope that i am a good friend to people.
i try and sometimes it is hard to do.
i feel pretty lucky to have some of the best around and tonight especially showed me that.
yesterday my dressmaker form arrived.
i have had so much time to think about it and figure out the design and then when i got the form, i set it up in the kitchen, sat on the floor and just stared at it.
it was like, oh great, now what do i do with this???
so, i went nuts today sewing! after riding around with matt looking at bodies of water, i had to go home and work on the dress. that was most of my day.
then, this really nice guy, chris invited us to go to this house show.
the house is across the street from a cemetary and has the most amazing garden and yard.
the inside is incredible. it is a combination of decleyre and felix and the warehouse. matt said it smelled like felix and decleyre, but in a good way!!!
there was a marching band from new york that played and it was so fun. we danced and they played records from the roof.
brian v. would be "J".
i felt like i was at home!
i wish some people from memphis could share this with me, but then i think about it and they are all scattered across the continent, except for a small few.
and i know that they are in a good place for their lives right now.
i got a little homesick tonight. the house collective and the family feeling. i miss that and hope that i can find it here too. not that i feel like it's gone, it's just nice to have that closeness with people near you too.
but...i have met some of the most amazing folks. i am inspired everyday to do something with my life, so i am glad to be here.
there are so many people with such great spirits in this town.
it's uplifting.
i do hope that i can make some good friends here.
last night i saw gillian welch play at a small venue downtown.
it was fantastic.
amazing even.
so, i guess that made up for missing tom waits.
missing some folks pretty bad. i do wish that i could see a few people now and then.
i wish it were easy for us to travel back and forth, but i know that we will see each other when we can.
i got to talk with matt owens today in asheville and that made my day a little better.
i had some ask me if i missed memphis. i reacted in a weird way. i almost took it accusatorily (sp?) and got a little defensive on the inside, like how dare you ask that of me? then i knew that it definitely is a sore spot and that it is ok to miss memphis.
i don't think i have let myself miss it yet.
i have been blocking some of it so i can just get on with my life.
so i am telling myselfe that it's ok to miss some of the people and places and that if i didn't miss them that would mean i didn't care about them. so, with the caring and closeness comes a sadness of distance. it's all a part of it all.
i do wish that i didn't miss certain people though. but oh well.
so the moral of the weekend so far is: friends are amazing.
they show you who you are and what you want and don't want to be.
i hope that i am a good friend to people.
i try and sometimes it is hard to do.
i feel pretty lucky to have some of the best around and tonight especially showed me that.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
so this is me in providence...burning up
it's so hot already!
did i mention that it is hot? IT'S HOT!
did anyone notice that the country is on fire?????
there is a heat index warning of 106 degrees here. of course it is not as hot as memphis can get, but for here it is outrageous.
i was reading the paper this morning and they were talking about how the city helps the people in need when there is a heat wave like this.
the ozone warning is sky high and those of us without A/C (oh yes, that is me...once again) run a risk of heat stroke.
they are extending the hours of public pools and community centers until dark and the beaches are free. they are also handing out free fans for the elderly and handicapped at the schools and community centers. they have also contacted the utility centers and asked that they not cut off any power to people for the next couple of days.
that is pretty amazing to me.
they think of this ahead of time.
if you are poor and cannot afford your utilities, chances are, you don't have a/c and are relying on fans in the house. if the utilities are cut off, then there is a bigger chance of sickness and or death for those that are unable to find a cool spot.
logical sense. so, they have set up cooling spots around the city for people to go to and sit in the air conditioning.
this just amazes me.
a city that thinks about its people, especially the ones that need to be thought of the most.
our aprtment is ok.
we have a couple fans and the double hung windows help immensely. so, i am going to do the "shopping" today. get groceries in the freezing store.
stuff like that.
as long as i carry the fan around with me and sit in front of it, i am ok.
i went to see the new woody allen movie last night...horrible. i left with an anxiety problem more than anything else. it's time for him to stop the nonsense.
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