Sunday, December 31, 2006
Monday, December 25, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
Saturday, September 30, 2006
see stacy run
see her run around
around like a chicken with its head cut
off but not entirely
it is still dangling there
slightly
making things real hard to understand
around like a chicken with its head cut
off but not entirely
it is still dangling there
slightly
making things real hard to understand
Saturday, September 23, 2006
autumnal equinox
i don't really have much to say these days.
things are good and i am busy.
i am now adjusting to the school thing. the first time in 5 years. my teacher is my age.
the young ones like to point that out too.
i am an old fart to the 18 year olds.
it is good and i have met some nice people.
overall, i am overwhelmed and tired, but i am learning how to get my routine going.
it is officially fall now, and the leaves are starting to turn.
things are good and i am busy.
i am now adjusting to the school thing. the first time in 5 years. my teacher is my age.
the young ones like to point that out too.
i am an old fart to the 18 year olds.
it is good and i have met some nice people.
overall, i am overwhelmed and tired, but i am learning how to get my routine going.
it is officially fall now, and the leaves are starting to turn.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
going back home/ Film debuts
first of all, going back home is not going to Memphis.
that's a new one for me.
secondly, i saw some amazing films at the Telluride Film Festival this week.
this is a 4 day festival that premiers movies (like Sundance and Cannes) but a little differently.
this is an old mining town in thevalley of the San Juan Mountains, which is part of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.
there is only one road that takes you in and out of the town.
it is beautiful and devastatingly expensive to live there. million dollar homes. nothing less, much more. ralph lauren, oprah, tom cruise own houses up there. but that is not the point.
THE POINT IS i have a wonderful friend (we met in 10th grade in high school) whose family has had a house there for many years.
if we can afford to get there, we get to live meagerly, spending our money on seeing films and hiking and camping gear for the mountains.
this is the second time i have been and i cannot relay the amazing realizations of being alive that happen while standing on a mountain looking at the stars that cover the entire sky. there is nothing like it.
as far as the films go...
THE U.S. VS JOHN LENNON - did not premier there, but showed in the outdoor park theater one night
this is amazing. the director was there and talked about how 10 years ago (and several times since) they tried to distribute this film, but no one would pick it up. after 911 happened, vh1 picked it up and it is about to open in theaters.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS
for me, it only deepened the need to "do something" about our generation's conflicts.
the manner in which they compare nixon to bush and our parents' situations to ours is so appropriate, as well as the fact that history does repeat itself...especially if we choose to forget it.
VERY INSPIRING AND POIGNANT
SEVERANCE - Horror film, english directors
hilarious spoofs on the typical horror film stuff, but it is a serious horror film. my knees were in my face the whole time. i was watching it through my fingers. it also comments (in undertones) the U.S. government's involvement in biological warefare.
good to see if you like horror films and want to see a recently well made original idea for a change.
BABEL - drama, Alejandro Gonzalez Innuritu is the director
memphis' own Robin Tucker got to work on this assisting amazing photographer Mary Ellen Mark
well made end to his trilogy of films describing the connection we have as humans with the sense of loss and pain as well as the relationship between parent and child.
he is also an amazing man that i had the honor to meet and melt in front of when he looked at me!
one thing he said about loneliness is that it is "...the language of silence".
THE GHOSTS OF CITE SOLEIL - documentary on Port-au-Prince in Haiti that is the poorest, most violent slum today.
the Danish director Asger Leth risked his life to make this going there by himself with a credit card and camera he learned to use the day before he got on the plane.
this movie shows life and death in this town during the last months of Jean-Bertrand Aristide's regime and the military takeover that followed.
it follows 2 brothers and their roles in fighting for and against the dictator and the violence that is everyday life for these people.
well, i am not a film critic.
so, go see these films.
http://www.telluridefilmfestival.org/
thanks Robin for the hookup!!!!
that's a new one for me.
secondly, i saw some amazing films at the Telluride Film Festival this week.
this is a 4 day festival that premiers movies (like Sundance and Cannes) but a little differently.
this is an old mining town in thevalley of the San Juan Mountains, which is part of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.
there is only one road that takes you in and out of the town.
it is beautiful and devastatingly expensive to live there. million dollar homes. nothing less, much more. ralph lauren, oprah, tom cruise own houses up there. but that is not the point.
THE POINT IS i have a wonderful friend (we met in 10th grade in high school) whose family has had a house there for many years.
if we can afford to get there, we get to live meagerly, spending our money on seeing films and hiking and camping gear for the mountains.
this is the second time i have been and i cannot relay the amazing realizations of being alive that happen while standing on a mountain looking at the stars that cover the entire sky. there is nothing like it.
as far as the films go...
THE U.S. VS JOHN LENNON - did not premier there, but showed in the outdoor park theater one night
this is amazing. the director was there and talked about how 10 years ago (and several times since) they tried to distribute this film, but no one would pick it up. after 911 happened, vh1 picked it up and it is about to open in theaters.
EVERYONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS
for me, it only deepened the need to "do something" about our generation's conflicts.
the manner in which they compare nixon to bush and our parents' situations to ours is so appropriate, as well as the fact that history does repeat itself...especially if we choose to forget it.
VERY INSPIRING AND POIGNANT
SEVERANCE - Horror film, english directors
hilarious spoofs on the typical horror film stuff, but it is a serious horror film. my knees were in my face the whole time. i was watching it through my fingers. it also comments (in undertones) the U.S. government's involvement in biological warefare.
good to see if you like horror films and want to see a recently well made original idea for a change.
BABEL - drama, Alejandro Gonzalez Innuritu is the director
memphis' own Robin Tucker got to work on this assisting amazing photographer Mary Ellen Mark
well made end to his trilogy of films describing the connection we have as humans with the sense of loss and pain as well as the relationship between parent and child.
he is also an amazing man that i had the honor to meet and melt in front of when he looked at me!
one thing he said about loneliness is that it is "...the language of silence".
THE GHOSTS OF CITE SOLEIL - documentary on Port-au-Prince in Haiti that is the poorest, most violent slum today.
the Danish director Asger Leth risked his life to make this going there by himself with a credit card and camera he learned to use the day before he got on the plane.
this movie shows life and death in this town during the last months of Jean-Bertrand Aristide's regime and the military takeover that followed.
it follows 2 brothers and their roles in fighting for and against the dictator and the violence that is everyday life for these people.
well, i am not a film critic.
so, go see these films.
http://www.telluridefilmfestival.org/
thanks Robin for the hookup!!!!
Monday, September 04, 2006
events
telluride is always a healing experience.
the best thing i learn is to be where i am.
we watched the moon rise last night by observing the shadows of the ridge move in the basin that we were in.
it was the exact same thing this morning with the sun.
we tend to forget the simplest actions of nature and how beautiful something like the moon coming out can be for our souls. it was like being a kid. we would jump up from the fire to check on its path and figure out where it was coming from and where it was going.
it is beautiful here, that is for sure. i am very thankful for having a friend that likes me enough to ask me to participate in this with him.
it always puts me in a different place for going back home. this time "home" is a rather new place and i am a stranger there. so, i feel like a lost wanderer of sorts.
on the walk down the mountain this morning i thought a lot about how i tend to be "alone" during most of the things that i do that are life changing for me.
it just seems to happen that way lately.
this is probably appropriate for me right now and lets me figure out who and what i am.
so, back i go to the northeast to start yet a new chapter and start school.
the best thing i learn is to be where i am.
we watched the moon rise last night by observing the shadows of the ridge move in the basin that we were in.
it was the exact same thing this morning with the sun.
we tend to forget the simplest actions of nature and how beautiful something like the moon coming out can be for our souls. it was like being a kid. we would jump up from the fire to check on its path and figure out where it was coming from and where it was going.
it is beautiful here, that is for sure. i am very thankful for having a friend that likes me enough to ask me to participate in this with him.
it always puts me in a different place for going back home. this time "home" is a rather new place and i am a stranger there. so, i feel like a lost wanderer of sorts.
on the walk down the mountain this morning i thought a lot about how i tend to be "alone" during most of the things that i do that are life changing for me.
it just seems to happen that way lately.
this is probably appropriate for me right now and lets me figure out who and what i am.
so, back i go to the northeast to start yet a new chapter and start school.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
every town plays a part
i learned today that the old Vanadium Mine (between Telluride and Placerville) got a boost during WWII. uranium oxide ws discovered to be a key ingredient for the development of america's atomic bomb.
"During WWII, Einstein told Roosevelt that uranium oxide, a byproduct of vanadium that had been tossed away and ignored for years, had a certain value. Suddenly the lines of the old Southern were filled with a highly valuable deposit guarded by federal agents with machine guns".
"During WWII, Einstein told Roosevelt that uranium oxide, a byproduct of vanadium that had been tossed away and ignored for years, had a certain value. Suddenly the lines of the old Southern were filled with a highly valuable deposit guarded by federal agents with machine guns".
Saturday, August 26, 2006
now i am on the Pacific
so i get onto a plane in Boston and 6 hours later i am in LA. it has been a long day and my thought process on this is too much to write right now...the way i feel about being cattle checked for terrorist activities...but this is my friend david and we are going to Telluride, CO to sit on a mountain.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Monday, August 21, 2006
my horoscope this morning
when you think of people from your past, it's like being haunted by a ghost.
this is your day to confront the illusion and make peace with the elements of your life that you left long ago.
this is your day to confront the illusion and make peace with the elements of your life that you left long ago.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
there's a pirate named shmee that hangs with captain hook
i really don't have much to say these days i have so much to say
i am in a limbo that is quite refreshing actually.
it's ok and i understand about going with the flow of things.
i seem to blow too easily with the breeze.
althought the passing on and through seems to become second nature and then before i know it i am on the other side of my world.
my world is a different place now.
now
a very different place, but you know what, it's exactly the same as where i came from.
exactly the same.
it all is
hasn't it always been
melancholia...
(It is characterised by low levels of enthusiasm and low levels of eagerness for activity) (i do so love the dictionary)
although this may sound like a negative thing, it is actually wonderful. needed. understood and ready to see where this takes me.
had some new ideas about "born again" today.
this goes with my theories about karma and regeneration, the basis of the need for religion, and the real meaning of the "word" feeling. i can't possibly write all that down and i have bored many with my theories anyway.
i am having a great time with myself actually.
does this mean "growing up" when you can actually stand being with yourself?
i have made new clothes and new drawings and i look different.
i don't think it's olderness
i think its untanglingness
i am in a limbo that is quite refreshing actually.
it's ok and i understand about going with the flow of things.
i seem to blow too easily with the breeze.
althought the passing on and through seems to become second nature and then before i know it i am on the other side of my world.
my world is a different place now.
now
a very different place, but you know what, it's exactly the same as where i came from.
exactly the same.
it all is
hasn't it always been
melancholia...
(It is characterised by low levels of enthusiasm and low levels of eagerness for activity) (i do so love the dictionary)
although this may sound like a negative thing, it is actually wonderful. needed. understood and ready to see where this takes me.
had some new ideas about "born again" today.
this goes with my theories about karma and regeneration, the basis of the need for religion, and the real meaning of the "word" feeling. i can't possibly write all that down and i have bored many with my theories anyway.
i am having a great time with myself actually.
does this mean "growing up" when you can actually stand being with yourself?
i have made new clothes and new drawings and i look different.
i don't think it's olderness
i think its untanglingness
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Monday, August 07, 2006
keeping it real...?
why is it that when i go to draw or paint, i have such a hard time and i don't like it at all when i step back,
but then when i get an idea to make something for someone else, i am so happy with it and i end up giving it away?
it's almost like i need a reason to make something and it is usually for someone else with a specific purpose in mind.
maybe this will help me be a good architect someday.
or it could just be that damn christian upbringing and the teachings of "selfishness" and the only way for me to feel good about making or doing something is if it is for someone(s) else.
it's frustrating and i would like to stop some of that you know.
i would just like to make some thing for myself sometimes.
i guess you could say that i am doing that when i make it for other people, but i have ideas for me and i would like to see those through too.
right now i can't leave the house because i am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. i just keep going from one room to the next doing something. it's like i have a factory in here.
so, well, back to it i suppose.
i just needed to vent.
but then when i get an idea to make something for someone else, i am so happy with it and i end up giving it away?
it's almost like i need a reason to make something and it is usually for someone else with a specific purpose in mind.
maybe this will help me be a good architect someday.
or it could just be that damn christian upbringing and the teachings of "selfishness" and the only way for me to feel good about making or doing something is if it is for someone(s) else.
it's frustrating and i would like to stop some of that you know.
i would just like to make some thing for myself sometimes.
i guess you could say that i am doing that when i make it for other people, but i have ideas for me and i would like to see those through too.
right now i can't leave the house because i am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. i just keep going from one room to the next doing something. it's like i have a factory in here.
so, well, back to it i suppose.
i just needed to vent.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
good times
i've had a pretty good weekend so far.
yesterday my dressmaker form arrived.
i have had so much time to think about it and figure out the design and then when i got the form, i set it up in the kitchen, sat on the floor and just stared at it.
it was like, oh great, now what do i do with this???
so, i went nuts today sewing! after riding around with matt looking at bodies of water, i had to go home and work on the dress. that was most of my day.
then, this really nice guy, chris invited us to go to this house show.
the house is across the street from a cemetary and has the most amazing garden and yard.
the inside is incredible. it is a combination of decleyre and felix and the warehouse. matt said it smelled like felix and decleyre, but in a good way!!!
there was a marching band from new york that played and it was so fun. we danced and they played records from the roof.
brian v. would be "J".
i felt like i was at home!
i wish some people from memphis could share this with me, but then i think about it and they are all scattered across the continent, except for a small few.
and i know that they are in a good place for their lives right now.
i got a little homesick tonight. the house collective and the family feeling. i miss that and hope that i can find it here too. not that i feel like it's gone, it's just nice to have that closeness with people near you too.
but...i have met some of the most amazing folks. i am inspired everyday to do something with my life, so i am glad to be here.
there are so many people with such great spirits in this town.
it's uplifting.
i do hope that i can make some good friends here.
last night i saw gillian welch play at a small venue downtown.
it was fantastic.
amazing even.
so, i guess that made up for missing tom waits.
missing some folks pretty bad. i do wish that i could see a few people now and then.
i wish it were easy for us to travel back and forth, but i know that we will see each other when we can.
i got to talk with matt owens today in asheville and that made my day a little better.
i had some ask me if i missed memphis. i reacted in a weird way. i almost took it accusatorily (sp?) and got a little defensive on the inside, like how dare you ask that of me? then i knew that it definitely is a sore spot and that it is ok to miss memphis.
i don't think i have let myself miss it yet.
i have been blocking some of it so i can just get on with my life.
so i am telling myselfe that it's ok to miss some of the people and places and that if i didn't miss them that would mean i didn't care about them. so, with the caring and closeness comes a sadness of distance. it's all a part of it all.
i do wish that i didn't miss certain people though. but oh well.
so the moral of the weekend so far is: friends are amazing.
they show you who you are and what you want and don't want to be.
i hope that i am a good friend to people.
i try and sometimes it is hard to do.
i feel pretty lucky to have some of the best around and tonight especially showed me that.
yesterday my dressmaker form arrived.
i have had so much time to think about it and figure out the design and then when i got the form, i set it up in the kitchen, sat on the floor and just stared at it.
it was like, oh great, now what do i do with this???
so, i went nuts today sewing! after riding around with matt looking at bodies of water, i had to go home and work on the dress. that was most of my day.
then, this really nice guy, chris invited us to go to this house show.
the house is across the street from a cemetary and has the most amazing garden and yard.
the inside is incredible. it is a combination of decleyre and felix and the warehouse. matt said it smelled like felix and decleyre, but in a good way!!!
there was a marching band from new york that played and it was so fun. we danced and they played records from the roof.
brian v. would be "J".
i felt like i was at home!
i wish some people from memphis could share this with me, but then i think about it and they are all scattered across the continent, except for a small few.
and i know that they are in a good place for their lives right now.
i got a little homesick tonight. the house collective and the family feeling. i miss that and hope that i can find it here too. not that i feel like it's gone, it's just nice to have that closeness with people near you too.
but...i have met some of the most amazing folks. i am inspired everyday to do something with my life, so i am glad to be here.
there are so many people with such great spirits in this town.
it's uplifting.
i do hope that i can make some good friends here.
last night i saw gillian welch play at a small venue downtown.
it was fantastic.
amazing even.
so, i guess that made up for missing tom waits.
missing some folks pretty bad. i do wish that i could see a few people now and then.
i wish it were easy for us to travel back and forth, but i know that we will see each other when we can.
i got to talk with matt owens today in asheville and that made my day a little better.
i had some ask me if i missed memphis. i reacted in a weird way. i almost took it accusatorily (sp?) and got a little defensive on the inside, like how dare you ask that of me? then i knew that it definitely is a sore spot and that it is ok to miss memphis.
i don't think i have let myself miss it yet.
i have been blocking some of it so i can just get on with my life.
so i am telling myselfe that it's ok to miss some of the people and places and that if i didn't miss them that would mean i didn't care about them. so, with the caring and closeness comes a sadness of distance. it's all a part of it all.
i do wish that i didn't miss certain people though. but oh well.
so the moral of the weekend so far is: friends are amazing.
they show you who you are and what you want and don't want to be.
i hope that i am a good friend to people.
i try and sometimes it is hard to do.
i feel pretty lucky to have some of the best around and tonight especially showed me that.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
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